Doing

She has been busying herself with lots of household chores lately. From cleaning the curtains, changing the sofa/cushion covers etc things she does for spring cleaning every chinese new year... She says that she wants to make sure the house is tidy as it will be a while before she can do those tasks again.

She has devoted her whole life to the house. It cleaniness and tidiness. In fact, she has different "systems" for ensuring its tidiness and also to save money through effective use and recycling of water, plastic bags etc etc. Dad has once said and I agree that if there was a PHD in household chores she will have the honour of it long time again. Compared to a lot of houses I been to, she has indeed done an excellent in maintaining our home for more than 20 over years in a tip top condition. Although it is not designer home, but it is defitnitely clean, airy, spacious, tidy. All that, she did it out of love for the family. The house and the family were evidence of her labor of love.

I remember and in fact a few days ago, I just automatically kept cleaning the house, cos in my mind I wanted her to be reassured that her house will be maintained for her and her illness is not going to take that away from her. Similarly, I have been maintaining myself...as well... not to let myself fall under the pressure of work and be affected negatively by the politics at work that gets to me frequently, as I am also part of her achievement.

I could see that she was struggling emotionally as she goes about her tasks. But all these while she did not say she will never get to do them again. She just say she will be taking a break for a while when chemo prevents her from doing so. It is that fighting spirit in her that sometimes i wished I had inherited from her. It is that fighting spirit that helped her through the financial difficulites, her miscarriages, gossipes etc etc through her life. I remember she once told us that we should never give in to fate. Fight hard mum.